just come out here and I will go home with you...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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