Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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