i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
