i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
