I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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