I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
