You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
