just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
