Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
