she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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