Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
