so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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