So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
