South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
