I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin