There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
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Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.