Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
