That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
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I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
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I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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