Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
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You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
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WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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