1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
