she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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