Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
