hell yes lets make some ravioli
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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