remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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