The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize