Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
