If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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