what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
