The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
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there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
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Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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