It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
