I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
