sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
