I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
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To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
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My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole