I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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