She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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