I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES