You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I party with great urgency now.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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