he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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