Im at strip club and am horny
so explain again why im purple
no
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
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I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
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I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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