Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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