I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
