Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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