You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
