Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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