I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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