I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
