Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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