My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
