We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
