I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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