Just fell off a train. Bad.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
