do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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