Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
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I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize