And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i now understand why vodka
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
