Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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