i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
