I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
