question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
