I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize