Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
