She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize