Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
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Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
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Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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